


That Voice in Your Head

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Porn, Blow Jobs, Keith is a good boyfriend, M/M, Nipple Play, Praise Kink, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 04:45:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10072445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: Lance is having a very bad night after a mission, Keith finds him and tries to show him that the voice in his head isn’t as honest as he thinks it is. Praise kink klance request from tumblr.Warning for some serious self-deprecation from Lance (and not the funny kind).And it’s porn.





	

You know that voice in your head? The one that makes a comment like ‘people are going to puke on your goddamn shoes when they see how ugly they are’ or ‘you just made the world’s most stupid comment, the award is to you, you are the winner.’ Yeah. Lance had one of those voices.

Lance assumed everyone had that voice and probably had some really, really bad days with it in the mud fields trying to shove it into a foxhole and throw a grenade in. He assumed ‘The Voice’ was the littlest bitch Pandora left in the box for humanity and at least gave therapists a paycheck.

So, somewhere, he figured it was normal: the cutting comments, the sink in his gut, the buzz in the back of his mind that said all it needed to say. He just wished his was maybe a little less...Well, he wished a lot of things.

It wasn’t so noticeable at home, his mom kept his hands busy, his cousins and his sister and his brother, and their friends looked up at him like he was made of lollipops and gospel truths. Even at the garrison, he had enough distractions to muzzle The Beast. Every squeak of his shoes against the hallway echoed with ‘prove them wrong,’ ‘not what they think,’ ‘ _show them._ ’

Spite, defiance, insolence- he could live off that good dose of ‘screw you, Imma be this anyway’ for a very long time.

But space was...quiet. It was empty. It was wide and yawning and there wasn’t anyone to prove wrong. Except himself, and that again, looped all the way back to dealing with The Voice.  

He got some sort of reprieve from it when Keith did the whole ‘uh, okay, well, you see, no, what I mean is,’ and then eventually asked him out on a date. And then Lance somehow got a second date.

Yeah, dating someone, actually him. He was dancing on cloud nine for a while, and Lance was ready to dance.

But space was quiet. It was immense and breathtaking and everything he wanted, but he was assured, again, and again, as his feet dragged down the castle floors and his mind raced. He wasn’t enough for it.

 _Useless_ , his hand trails over the panels of the hallway, cold and unfeeling to the touch, _selfish._

He screws his eyes shut and tries to block it out, but his willpower was raw and trembling under his frayed nerves, _stupid_ , _just a cargo pilot_ , _7th wheel. They’d all rather have someone else._

Lance has to wrap his arms around himself to stop from crumpling to the floor like a used kleenex and curling up in a ball. He really wished he had a foxhole right now.

He manages to keep walking, his fingers touching the breaks in the sidewall panels and his shoes making little squiggly grating sounds as he trailed them over the metal- forcing himself to at least walk.

He takes deep breaths.

 _You know if you were anyone else then maybe the last ship wouldn’t have blown up,_ _maybe Pidge’s plan would have worked, maybe they would aLL JUST BE HAPPIER AND CO-_

He tries to tell himself a joke, there were always jokes, always something to laugh at if you tried hard enough. Knock, Knock...Lance frowns, it doesn’t come.

He rubs at his eyes, they sting and he feels a wetness gather there. He clenches his fists and swallows as hard as he can, he wasn’t going to cry some millions of miles from home without his mom there to stop everyone from staring.

Lance sniffles, _pathetic,_ he crushes his hands to his head and digs his fingernails in, trying to get some release in the spikes of pain blooming from the crescent-moon bites digging in.

“Lance?”  
  
He freezes, quick to wipe his eyes on his sleeve and stand up straight, he turns around slowly with a flat-ironed smile, “Yeah?”  
  
Keith was standing in the hallway, fully-clothed, of course he was, his dark eyes search Lance up and down, “What are you doing up?”  
  
Lance pinches himself, he didn’t think ‘reflecting on my own failures as a human being’ was going to cut it, “Heh, you know,” He shrugs and looks around at the blank wall, “Enjoying the view.”  
  
Keith’s eyebrows tug together to form a little indent in his brow, it was kind of cute, “In the middle of the hall?”  
  
Lance looks around and wishes he could get away with just leaning on a surface a whistling- that was casual, “Couldn’t sleep. Needed a break,” He makes an attempt-at a wider smile, “What? Can’t a guy wonder around his own space castle in peace? Come on Keith, live a little, I’m trying to be the Pretend-Prince in a castle my sister always wanted me to be.” He poses dramatically with his hands on a sword and tossing his hair back, but Keith wasn’t having it.

He was still making the brow-dent as Lance called it and looking him up and down, “Do you...want to come to my room? I don’t think I can sleep either.”  
  
Lance stiffens and shakes his head, “Nah, maybe not tonight,” His smile strains, “I don’t think ‘hanging out in mullet-guys bedroom’ is quiet as princely,” He looks around and his shoulders slump, “I’d rather walk.”  
  
Keith puts his hand out, “Isn’t that boring?” Keith leans forward, “You hate being bored.”  
  
Lance’s mouth twitches and he feels some of his muscles tugging down, “I mean, yeah, but if you’re just inviting me to bored in your room,” He raises his eyebrows, “I’ll pass.” _I want to sulk alone in peace Keith. No one needs to see this._

Keith grabs his hand anyway and gently tugs, “I promise you won’t be bored,” He pauses, “I can’t believe I’m the one saying that, isn’t it your job to make those comments?”  
  
Lance sniffs and feels Keith leading him, “What? Not bored in your room?” He lays his head on his shoulder, “Too easy.”  
  
Keith visibly rolls his eyes, “Let’s talk.”  
  
Lance’s muscles bunch up, his shoulder’s rise like a dog raising it's haunches during a thunder storm. “You know, I really hate that phrase. The worst phrase, I could count at least twenty better phrases, in fact, all of them. They are all better, ‘let’s talk’ are two words-”  
  
“Three words.”  
  
“Thank you, three of the scariest words in the known language Keith, and that isn’t what I meant by ‘not-bored,’” He was rambling, Keith was guiding him back to the sleeping quarters of the ship.

He opens the door, “I hear you. But I still want to talk.”  
  
“Ack!” Lance clutches at his heart and backs up, “There it is again, you’re killing me Keith, killing me.” He pretends to have a heart attack and Keith tries to nudge him through the door.

“You don’t have to do this you know,” Keith says gently and it’s like Lance’s worst nightmares are playing out before his eyes.

Lance dry-swallows and stops trying to sink to the floor in the throes of death, he blinks up to the right, “I’m not doing anything. You’re the one who wants to talk.” He stiffly walks into the room and Keith closes the door behind them.

He wraps his arm around himself again.

Keith ‘s hand lands on the small of his back and Lance almost jumps out of his skin, he turns on the soft touch, “What do you want Keith?” He snaps and it comes out meaner than he meant it to be.

Keith meets his gaze unflinchingly. “Today,” Keith took a deep breath, “With that ship. It wasn’t your fault.”

Lance looks away immediately and stalks over to Keith’s chair with his back to him, he runs his hands through his short hair and pulls.

He feels a soft grip on his elbow and Lance ends up flinching this time, “Stop…” He says weakly instead and Keith lifting his chin up to him. 

“That ship was in the line of fire and there was nothing you could-”  
  
“STOP!” Lance yells and almost reaches to cover his ears, “I don’t want to hear your,” His eyes search wildly around the room, “ _Placations._ ” He stumbles away from Keith’s hand again, “Just let me, be.” He spits through gritted teeth.

Keith was frowning ever so slightly, “Allura said-”  
  
“NO,” he was shaking, “I fucked up, just let me be fucked up okay, _I’m_ the fuck up, I don’t want everyone to lie to my face about it as well.” He could feel his eyes stinging as he forced them closed and curled into himself. Shame wells up from deep within his center and he is digging his nails into his scalp again, _fuck up, fuck up, fuck up_.

Keith had a hand on the small of his back, Lance doesn’t have the energy to pull away, “I’m sorry we didn’t say it more.”  
  
Lance turns his face away, “You don’t have to say anything,” He says bitterly, “I already know it.”  
  
“No,” Keith says desperately, leaning closer to him, “Dammit, I’m not saying this right…” Keith clears his throat, “You’re an amazing pilot.”  
  
Lance freezes and struggles between a ‘damn straight,’ and a ‘I told you not to lie to me right now, not like this, not now.’ He kneels down on the ground and practically rolls over like a cat placed in its first harness, “Keith…” He says weakly, “You don’t have to do this.”  
  
His eyes are still closed as he lies on his side pathetically in his boyfriend's room, Keith bends over him, he feels a peck on his closed lips.

“We should be saying it more,” Keith repeated to himself like he was working something through, chewing through cement in his brain, “You really bring the team up. Bring it together.”  
  
“What are you talking about,” Lance was staring unseeingly off into space now, contemplating the dust-bunnies underneath Keith’s desk, why was there space dust? You think they would have solved that issue by now. With future alien swiffers.

“Everything you do, we wouldn’t have made it this far without you. Everything you do makes us stronger,” Keith’s eyes were full of some sort of steely determination, “You save the goddamn universe for God’s sake Lance.”  
  
Lance kicks him from across the space, “Cut it out,” He frowns, “Like, if you want to practice Shiro-ing do it with Pidge, she loves anyone telling her her megawatts of computer processing is the bee’s knees,” He sniffs listlessly, “I’m not...in the mood.”

Keith groans across from him and Lance sit down across from him. They stare at each other for a moment before Keith leans forward and presses his lips to his forehead, Lance blinks a couple times. It was soft. “Have you been using that chapstick I gave you?”

Keith kisses him sweetly on the cheek this time, it wasn’t chapped for once, he gives one of his rare smiles, “Yeah, I am.”

Lance snorts and looks away, “Oh I see, yeah, I really am finally saving the universe.”  
  
Keith climbs over him and Lance feels his hands pet his side, “Dammit Lance,” He whispers, “Yes, absolutely.” Lance shakes his head, “You taught me how to use chapstick and Hunk how to flick food goo off his spoon correctly and Pidge how to make friendship bracelets. You _are_ saving the goddamn universe.”  
  
Lance rolls over and lies on his face, “I want to diiiie.” He moans dramatically.  
  
Keith laughs and pats him on the back, “Finally. Life in you.”

Lance curls up on himself and he feels Keith kiss his shoulder and press his chest to Lance’s back, he tangles his legs in his and is the big spoon to his little spoon. “You’re cute.”

“Ugh.” Keith kisses his shoulder blade and wraps an arm around him.

“I really like your,” Lance looks over his shoulder as Keith pauses, he was visibly blushing, “Hands. They are…really good hands.” He was stumbling.

“Come on,” Lance felt like swatting him away but Keith’s mouth was sucking on the side of his neck and at least some part of him was (loudly) not saying no to that.

“You are really good with cheering people up,” Keith emphasized with another sharp kiss to his jawline, “And I...can’t think straight when you walk in the room.”  
  
Lane laughs, for what felt like the first time, holding his sides lightly, “That’s probably the point!”

Keith kisses him on the lips, firm and fast, like he wants to set Lance on fire, Keith smiles into the kiss. “Finally.”

Lance pushes Keith’s bangs back, Lance taps their foreheads together, “If you wanted to get off you could have just said so,” He grins, “You don’t have to sweet talk me,” He winks, “I like opening my legs for you darlin’.” He tries to make it sound like a joke.

Keith pulls back and he frowns down at him, “That’s not the point.”  
  
“I mean, we don’t have to do it _that_ way, we could do hands, or mouths or whatever, though I do like-” Keith put his hand over Lance’s open mouth.

“I think you’re really great.” Lance’s face heated up, watching the constant earnestness caught in Keith’s features, “I mean,” his eyes darted around, Keith was struggling, “I don’t want to just sleep with you.”  
  
He takes his hand off his mouth and Lance gives a deep sigh anyway, “Right. Kidding. I was kidding. I don’t know who would want to sleep with me anyway,” he leans his head back and looks at the opposite wall. “I’m sort of just the cargo pilot? Who’s too stupid to know when to quit. And looks like a drowned rat, and hell- Blue probably would love a guy who actually had a skillset! That's not nothing! I wouldn’t want to sleep with me again either.”

Keith thwaps him on the shoulder, “You really believe all that?”  
  
Lance hunches over and splays out on the floor, “Can we just forget all this?” He says in a small voice, his eyes still stinging, “I’ll be normal tomorrow. I promise. Then we can go back to kissing and touching sometimes with bad jokes in between.” He takes deep breaths in through his nose. “You don’t have to pretend to like me when I’m like this.”

Keith drags him into another hug from behind, “You don’t have to be normal.” He says in a trembling voice and Lance suddenly feels bad, Keith was really trying here. “And I do. Like you when you’re,” Keith breathed heavily, “Anything.”

The tears swim behind eyes, “Ugh,” he groans, “Why are you such a good boyfriend?”

Keith just shrugs, "I just like you." Lance blanches at that and swallows, sitting very still for a moment after that.

Keith runs his hands down Lance’s chest, tracing over his solar plexus and spreading fingers out across his pectorals, feeling his front up and down. Lance can’t help it, he arches into the touch and Keith’s fingers drag to the hem of his shirt, teasingly nudging it up ever so slowly.

Lance wiggles a little and tries to remember himself, “You can’t just keep touching me.” He says grimly, “You’ll give a gal mixed messages.”

 Lance feels Keith’s hot breath on his ear, he nibbles on the cusp of it and Lance stifles a moan, Keith panted, “What ever made you think I didn’t like sleeping with you?”

Lance shrugs and tries to shift away, Keith holds him in place from behind and nips at his jawline, “You are,” he nips, “The prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”

Lance feels his face flush deeply, “Keith…” He croaks hoarsely.

Keith kisses him on the mouth, deeply this time, before pulling away, “I’ll just show you.”

A breath hitches in Lance’s throat, his eyes going wide, “I-” Keith was kissing him deeply and Lance tilts his head to the side to let him in. He presses down and he is firm and hot against him, moving his lips and pulling out little breathy groans from him.

Keith kissed like he flew: deliberate and agile, like he knew what he was doing.

Keith kisses him and Lance feels his hand run down his body again, Keith lifts up his shirt this time and Lance feels it probe across his naked abdomen.

He pulls back, “You want this right?” Keith whispers into his mouth, the other hand drawing a comforting circle into his bare hip.

Lance nods shortly, he gives an abrupt chuckle, “I always want you...I’m just not, you know, great right now,” he tries to laugh again but it comes out as more of a bark, “Maybe ever.”  
  
Keith nods and his hand reaches up and up, he starts sucking on an exposed section of Lance’s neck, still spooning him behind and Lance moans when his hand searches up and flicks his nipple.

“Uh,” He squirms in place and Keith circles the dusty pink nub, teasing it and pressing lightly before taking it in hand.

“You’re sensitive here,” Lance’s face heats up, Keith twists the erect nipple in hand gently, enough to send a little spark down his spine.

“Don’t remind me, I know it’s weird.” He can’t help but pant as Keith sits up a little more and his other hand comes from behind to push Lance’s shirt up to his armpit, exposing the whole area. He uses the heel of his hand to rub roughly over the exposed skin and Lance can feel himself hardening in his pants.

“I like that.” Keith said bluntly, “I like how sensitive you are. It’s good, everything about you is good.”  
  
Keith sucks on the juncture between his shoulder and his neck, “You’re really, really good.” He whispers into the skin and Lance whimpers in a force of shame as the soft words go straight down to his belly, filling it with a type of warmth and making his length grow.

Keith rolls him over onto his back instead of his side and uses his devilish mouth to lick a long line up from his navel to his right nipple.

“Fuck, Keith,” Lance curses as Keith sucks on the flushed skin, swirling the nub in his mouth and tugging. Lance arches helplessly and feels his hips buck up.

Keith places his knee in between Lance’s legs and presses it into his crotch. Lance’s body rubs up against the friction, getting lost in the heat of Keith’s quick mouth on his chest and the leg putting an unrelenting pressure against his swelling cock.

He keens and shamelessly humps the thigh against him as he searches for some release, his boxers having become suffocating.

Keith takes a breath and lifts his head up, “What do you want?” He asks shortly, looking Lance up and down like he was a prime sports car at an auction. “Fuck, you are so hot,” He says before driving his knee up again to make Lance gasp.

Lance squirms and looks down in between Keith’s legs, he sees a bulge there and he’s pleased to see Keith was just as hard as he was.

Lance gulps and his eyes flick up to Keith’s faces, “I want to suck you off.” He says dryly and his eyebrows rise, “Please.”

Keith raises an eyebrow before pushing off from the ground.  
  
“I couldn’t say no to that,” Keith sits up and he yanks his own red, somewhat sweaty now, shirt up and over his head. Lance sits up as well- to touch him, be closer, it was the least he could do.

Lance puts his mouth immediately over Keith’s abs, licking the taught skin and running a hand over Keith’s happy trail to tug on the dark hairs there and trace them.

“Wait,” Keith pushes him back gently, “You as well.”  
  
Lance blinks and Keith sits him up to tug his shirt off and roughly push his pants down his hips and off- Keith never was one for strip-tease foreplay.

Lance tosses his head back as his erection springs free and feels the cool air against him. He feels a flush grow in his neck as he watches Keith look down, examining the head of his dick already beaded with pre-come and leaking against his stomach.

Lance kicks his jeans the rest of the way off and crawls over to Keith who stands up on unsteady legs, the head of his cock flushed and swinging in the air after removing his own pants.

Keith looks down on him, “You are one of the most generous people I know.”

Lance rolls his eyes, “You’re starting to sound like my sisters ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ books.”  
  
Keith smiles, “Good.”  
  
Lance shakes his head for a moment before his eyes dragging down and he wets his lips, Keith put a hand in his hair- threading the fingers sweetly through the mess. 

Lance puts his mouth to Keith’s inner thigh and sucks, Keith groans up above him and Lance quickly nips and sucks on the sensitive skin, making fat red blotches over the pale tract.

He kisses his way up his thigh and nips at the place where Keith’s thigh met his pelvis, he leans forward and gently sucks on Keith’s scrotum, making the boy give out a breathy moan. Lance pulls back and kisses his way up Keith’s entire length.

He feels Keith holding himself perfectly still so Lance can kiss the tip of his dick, “Ugh,” Lance saw the muscles tug in Keith’s whole body. Lance grins and licks a long strip from his base to his head. Keith was making deep noises from his core and Lance smiles as he puts the head of his cock in his mouth and sucks.

“Oh mygod,” Keith was calling out, Lance feels a well of something in his chest and manages to suction his cheeks out and bob his head up and down. The air fills with obscene noises and he feels some spit run down his chin.

“You are seriously one of the smartest people I know.”  
  
Lance snorts but his mouth is too busy to respond at that moment.

“Like, I don’t think anyone who’s more fun to be around either? I asked you out after all. Since I was hoping,” Keith pauses, Lance looks up curiously, his mouth still moving over him and Keith burying his hand in his hair. “We could spend more time together.”

Lance groans despite himself and the vibrations must drive Keith crazy as he bucks into his mouth suddenly, Lance manages not to gag and takes more of him into his mouth.

“You are the Blue Paladin,” Keith says firmly when he can get his voice back, “And no one else can do that, dammit Lance, you just don’t see it. You are fucking amazing.”  
  
Lance should say something snarky or roll his eyes but he currently has the salty tang of his boyfriends precum in his mouth and a hardness between his legs. He would never admit that the words were making his buck his hips as well.

He wraps his hand around himself.

Lance pumps himself to the steady rhythm to bobbing his head up and down Keith’s flushed erection, he can feel his boyfriend's hips buck more frequently as he must be getting closer.

“You are so good with cock,” Keith croons, “Your mouth is so pretty, always, but I never stopped imagining it around me. You love cock,” Lance groans, his grip going tighter around himself as Keith spoke, “It’s fantastic, those swollen lips spread to their limit across me so perfectly. You’re gorgeous.” Lance’s dick twitches at the words and he sucks harder as he screws his eyes shut.

Lance angles his head and feels himself bob his head forward, letting the length all the way down his throat and he feels his nose reach Keith’s dark pubes. 

He hums around his base and Keith’s hand is curling against his scalp, he still manages to talk, “Ugh, you are so good at this, fuck, fuck, Lance, dammit, look at yourself, you’re, ugh,” he groans, “Amazing.”

Lance’s hand was still tightly wrapped around himself, working his thumb over the weeping slit and embarrassingly, he cums first. Keith doesn’t even finish his sentence and Lance releases all over his own hand and moans through the unexpected high.

 He feels a hot spurt of mess run down his throat the next moment, a wet hot glob that he swallows immediately as Keith pumped shallowly in and out and finishes in his mouth.

Lance feels the drag of the bitter taste over his tongue as Keith pulls out and Lance licks his own puffy lips and wipes the spit off his chin. He catches his breath and wipes his hand on his discarded shirt.

He feels a hand tilt his chin up and Keith is kissing him right away, pressing down and eating up his sore mouth.

Keith kneels down and cradles his head, “Did you cum?”

Lance nods mutely, looking away with a hot shame. “Yeah, I, uh. I guess there’s something to whatever this is.”  
  
Keith snorts with a short laugh, “It’s called an actual compliment, we should say them more.”  
  
Lance leans forward and presses his sweaty forehead to Keith’s shoulder, “Thanks.” He gulps and his whole body is still trembling. “I,” He swallows, “I think I liked...some of that.”  
  
He feels arms wrap around him and he pulls him into a tight hug as Keith presses their chests together.

“Some of it?”  
  
Lance smiles into Keith’s neck, “A lot of it. Maybe all of it.” He kisses Keith’s skin there, “I do like my ego being stroked as we know.”  
  
Keith hugs him tighter, and there’s a teasing element to his tone, “I’ll stroke anything you like.”  
  
Lance throws his head back and laughs, “You do make jokes! And I thought Hunk was exaggerating about that.”

Keith swats him on the shoulder, “well I suppose one of us has to do it.” Lance lets go and splays his legs out as he feels the bruises forming on his knees, Keith cups his cheeks, “I’ll tell the jokes for you when you don’t feel like it.”  
  
Lance’s eyes go wide. He holds his breath for a moment and looks into Keith’s sincere gaze. He his throat tightens.

He dabs at his eyes as they suddenly fill, “Um, no,” His voice cracks, “I don’t want to subject anyone to that.” Keith frowns and Lance kisses the dent in his brow, “But, but that’s a nice gesture.” He shakes, “I don’t always want to be…you know. Funny.” He looks away and Keith kisses his cheeks with something of a lovers touch.  
  
Lance wipes at his leaking eyes, some door opened, relieved that, yeah, he didn’t have to be funny right then. He didn’t have to be anything.

Keith pushes his blankets aside and pulls him into bed, gathering Lance in his arms and holding him for the night. He whispers more sweet nothings and Lance somehow drifts off.

The voice is still growling in the back of his head, but he tells it to go dunk its head. He could still do this.


End file.
